Each of you has grown through your Iron Brides experience. What are you going to do to continue your personal growth(s)?    What action(s) will you commit to?  What are you willing to change?  What has your fiance’s, and your families reaction been to this committment?

I am committing to maintaining my efforts of not complaining! So far it has been s struggle for me with our Complaint free world bracelets, but when I feel a weak moment coming on and all I want to do is complain or be negative, I just refer back to Betsy’s speech and how negativity affects everyone around you. This will be an ongoing effort for me, but it will help all aspects of my life tremendously. It’s amazing how much happier I am and Phil & I are as a couple when I don’t complain and stay positive.

Needless to say, Phil loves that he can point out when I complain and tell me to “Switch wrists!”

 I couldn’t think of  a concrete fear that I have. I am the first one to kill spiders, I can comfortably talk in front of people and heights don’t bother me.

I have a fear of failure. I especially hate when failure is in front of other people, I get embarrassed easily and I never  want to appear as a failure in any aspect of my life. With my job, I was too scared of failure, so rather than embarrass myself, I didn’t even bother to apply for the Director position with recently opened in my office. I  figured if I just stay as an Associate Director, there is less of a risk of failure because I already know what I am doing on a daily basis. There was just too much risk for potential embarrassment if I did something wrong or made a bad decision as Director. I disregarded the potential for a significant raise and huge advancement in my career in education and just took the safe route.

I am not sure why I am this way. I never had some huge embarrassing experience in my life, but I do recall turing red in class if I got a question wrong, or excusing myself to go hide in the bathroom if my team lost a game in gym class. I liked the feeling of accomplishment when I won the “most books read award” in fourth grade, I liked being voted to be the cheerleading captain both my junior and senior year of high school. When I found out I got the job as a Graduate Assistant after graduating college, I was ecstatic! Now I can feel the accomplishment of getting this great job, and a free Master’s Degree!

After I completed my two-year stint, it was time to start looking for a real job-Uh oh potential for failure Nicole! I didn’t know what I would do if I didn’t get a job I interviewed for. Luckily, I got a fantastic job working for a private college south of Boston. Then, there came a time where I wanted to explore more and branch out of higher education. I took a job in corporate America and after three months-I was in a living hell! I couldn’t stand to get up and go to work every day and I regreted ever leaving education. I didn’t know what to do, how embarrassing will it be if I quit a job after only three months? Everyone will think I couldn’t hack it in corporate America! With the support of my amazing boyfriend (not fiancee yet!) I quit the job because it was the best thing for me. I couldn’t live my life dreading to go to work everyday. Work is something we all have to do, so if you are not enjoying it, you need to get out-life is just too short. I don’t regret making the switch to the corporate job, it was a learning experience. For the past 8 months I have been working at a school that I love, doing what I love which is admissions and advising for adults who want to go back to school.

This is something I struggle with every day, but at some point I will need to swallow my pride and know that failure and embarrassment are all parts of life and they are all learning expieriences!

Now, you ask, what are two things I would like to do before I am 60…

Get another Master’s Degree–I love school!

Travel to Italy so I can see where my grandparents came from.

Hope you liked learning about me and my fears, I really put it all out there for you this week!

Happy 2009!

XO,

NC

When I saw Mark & Betsy at our taping last weekend, I didn’t think much of it, they are often with us when we are taping. I was caught by surprise when Betsy started talking to us about a concept that she says saved her marriage. I never thought it would be something that I could relate to so much. Complaining-there are a lot of different names for it-venting,whining, nagging,  or one of my favorites: “I’m just stating a fact!” I will be up front here, complaining is one of my biggest flaws in my life. It has been since I was little-my Dad is constantly saying something like these words to me: “Nothing is good enough for you Nikki! All you do is complain! Will you just stop nagging on Phil? Leave the guy alone!”

Oopsie…

This is something I try to work on, let’s face it- nobody likes to be around a constant complainer! Given our latest assignment, I am thrilled to take on the challenge of switching my pretty magenta bracelet every single time a complaint comes out of my mouth. When I came home to tell Phil about it, he had a smirk on his face from here to the hills and couldn’t wait to start “reminding” me to switch the bracelet when needed! However, he refused to wear the bracelet himself because it was “pink”. I think he is just  a little scared to realize how much he complains!

I had to start doing some more research on how this concept came about. Will Bowen,  minister from Missouri came up with the idea to curb criticism, complaining and sarcasam in his church congregation. It has taught people to be slower thinkers and really think about what is coming out of your mouth and how it effects others around you. Will said it has opened people’s eyes on how much people complain; even if they think they are a generally positive person. One couple from his congregation discovered how much they talk negatively and/or complain, so instead of switching the bracelet all day long, they decided to just stop talking for a whole day! Now that is a good way to learn a lesson!

This bracelet concept is really catching on. There has been over 6 MILLION bracelets circulated world wide and wasfeatured on media giants such as the Today Show, Oprah and Fox news. If people take this idea seriously, we will be slowing building a more positive world for our children. There is so much negativity in our world and I think this is because it is easy to be negative, it takes more strength to be positive and see the bright side of things, even when it looks pretty dim.

So join me and the Iron Brides in trying to live complaint-free. It has been a struggle so far, but it is an eye opener for sure! I know I haven’t been even close to going a full day without switching the bracelet, but it helps if you have a fiancee who loves to point out your complaining-you’ll be switching that bracelet before you know it!

Below you will see the lovely piece of rubber I will be donning on my wrist-probably forever!

If this video doesn’t make you smile than you must be related to the GRINCH!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zPulmvbiNCY

It’s a marshmallow world in the winter
When the snow comes to cover the ground
It’s the time for play, it’s a whipped cream day
I wait for it the whole year round.

Those are marshmallow clouds being friendly
In the arms of the evergreen trees
And the sun is red like a pumpkin head
It’s shining so your nose wont freeze.

The world is your snowball, see how it grows
That’s how it goes whenever it snows
The world is your snowball just for a song
Get out and roll it along

It’s a yum-yummy world made for sweethearts
Take a walk with your favorite girl
It’s a sugar date, what if spring is late
In winter it’s a marshmallow world.

The meaning is simple, its beautiful in the snow and it looks like marshmallows everywhere!! And, when you are with the one you love, its even better!

Phil & I were in North Conway this past weekend and it was indeed a marshmallow world-lots of snow up there!!!

This is the night of the big storm last Friday, my two loves of my life–Phil & Hurley playing in the park! Doesn’t it look like Hurley shoved his face in a bowl of marshmallows??  And marshmallows falling from the sky!! HEHE

So when you hear this fun tune, probably on oldies, think of how beautiful it is in the winter! Even when you are shoveling, driving in the snow or dreading going out to walk the dog in the storm, just sing a marshmallow world and everything will be ok   No promises, but it might help!

XO,

NC

• 1 (8 ounce) package of fat free cream cheese, softened
• 1/4 cup fat free mayonnaise  
• 1 clove garlic, peeled and minced
• 1/2 teaspoon dried basil
• 1/4 teaspoon garlic salt
• salt and pepper to taste
• 1 (14 ounce) can artichoke hearts, drained and chopped
• 1/2 cup frozen chopped spinach, thawed and drained
• 1/4 cup fat free shredded mozzarella cheese  

DIRECTIONS

1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Spray a small baking dish with cooking spray.
2. In a medium bowl, mix together cream cheese, mayonnaise,  garlic, basil, garlic salt, salt and pepper. Stir in artichoke hearts and spinach.
3. Transfer the mixture to the prepared baking dish. Top with mozzarella cheese. Bake for  25 minutes, until bubbly and lightly browned.

Even Phil, who is hesitant to try my healthy creations–loves this dish! And its vegetarian friendly

Enjoy!

So I am taking our blog assignment for this week and dreaming of all the things we could do with an EXTRA $6,500 dollars for our wedding. I thought this would be interesting to see what I thought we should do with it and what my fiancee would do with it. Phil is a very caring, giving and compassionate person, so I was not too surprised to see his response. We decided early on that we were most likely not doing typical wedding favors like candles, candy, etc. and things that can be easily forgotten about. We know we want to make a donation to some causes that are important to us. With some of  the extra money, we would put more into the MSPCA, mostly because of our love for our dog Hurley and our old dog Clancy, who was put down about 6 months ago. We want the money to benefit those who work so hard and volunteer their time to save and help animals, and to give more opportunities for resources for animals in need. It is such a shame to see how many animals, specifically dogs, are left for adoption due to mistreatment and/or abuse. If we can help just one dog get proper medical care we will be happy! Phil would allocate $600 to the MSPCA of our extra money. Another $600 would be donated to the American Cancer Society to benefit all of those so deeply effected by the awful disease. We have some people very close to us who have suffered or are suffering with this, and every little bit helps to come one step closer to a cure! One important thing we have learned from people around us that are still cancer ridden, yet strong surivors is the power of positive thinking-its amazing what it can do!

Since Phil is so loving, generous and kind, needless to say, he has a lot of friends! When we first started thinking about our guest list and hit 225…we had to sit and do the dreaded “B” list! It’s nothing personal against anyone if they are on a “B” list, and these days I think people are very understanding of working with a budget and trying to keep costs under control. You can’t possibly invite every single friend/coworker/acquaintance who has impacted your life or every single relative from coast to coast! If we had some extra money, we could invite all those other special people who otherwise we may be unable to invite! When we picture our wedding, we want it to reflect all the journey’s we have taken, together or apart, and all the people have made us who we are today. With that said, it would be appox. $1500  from our magical new money to invite those extra people.

With our guests happiness and comfort being a top priority, we would also use the remaining money to provide hotel rooms  for our guests. We don’t want our guests to feel inconvenienced by attending our wedding. We want it to be relaxing and not break the bank for them! Imagine going to a wedding and having everything including your hotel accommodations taken care of for you! That would be nice The remainder of our extra money is about $3,800 so that should cover a good chunk of rooms for our guests.

I would have to agree on all of these things with my wonderful future husband! Looking at what we are financially able to donate to our two causes was not as much as I would have liked, but every little bit helps! Being able to donate more would make us feel like we are starting our life together with similar goals and objectives in mind when it comes to supporting special causes. With both of us being people pleasers, we would love to see our guests happy and have the Corvini/Cargill wedding one they will never forget!

In closing, must I refer back to one of my favorite songs in a previous blog? Money helps but its all about being with the one you love! Cheesy I know, but true when you really reflect!

“And even though we ain’t got money,
I’m so in love with you, honey,
And everything will bring a chain of love.
And in the morning, when I rise,
You bring a tear of joy to my eyes
And tell me everything is gonna be alright.”