Write about the ‘glass ceilings’ in your life. What things do you believe you cannot do because of fear or inability other than a physical limitation (examples: jump out of a plane, handle spiders, speak in front of an audience, become President, etc.). You must tell us why you can’t do this/these things, and if you had a previous experience with it (negative experience). In addition to this, include 1-2 totally awesome things you wish you could do before you turn 60 and why you have mentioned these things.
I couldn’t think of a concrete fear that I have. I am the first one to kill spiders, I can comfortably talk in front of people and heights don’t bother me.
I have a fear of failure. I especially hate when failure is in front of other people, I get embarrassed easily and I never want to appear as a failure in any aspect of my life. With my job, I was too scared of failure, so rather than embarrass myself, I didn’t even bother to apply for the Director position with recently opened in my office. I figured if I just stay as an Associate Director, there is less of a risk of failure because I already know what I am doing on a daily basis. There was just too much risk for potential embarrassment if I did something wrong or made a bad decision as Director. I disregarded the potential for a significant raise and huge advancement in my career in education and just took the safe route.
I am not sure why I am this way. I never had some huge embarrassing experience in my life, but I do recall turing red in class if I got a question wrong, or excusing myself to go hide in the bathroom if my team lost a game in gym class. I liked the feeling of accomplishment when I won the “most books read award” in fourth grade, I liked being voted to be the cheerleading captain both my junior and senior year of high school. When I found out I got the job as a Graduate Assistant after graduating college, I was ecstatic! Now I can feel the accomplishment of getting this great job, and a free Master’s Degree!
After I completed my two-year stint, it was time to start looking for a real job-Uh oh potential for failure Nicole! I didn’t know what I would do if I didn’t get a job I interviewed for. Luckily, I got a fantastic job working for a private college south of Boston. Then, there came a time where I wanted to explore more and branch out of higher education. I took a job in corporate America and after three months-I was in a living hell! I couldn’t stand to get up and go to work every day and I regreted ever leaving education. I didn’t know what to do, how embarrassing will it be if I quit a job after only three months? Everyone will think I couldn’t hack it in corporate America! With the support of my amazing boyfriend (not fiancee yet!) I quit the job because it was the best thing for me. I couldn’t live my life dreading to go to work everyday. Work is something we all have to do, so if you are not enjoying it, you need to get out-life is just too short. I don’t regret making the switch to the corporate job, it was a learning experience. For the past 8 months I have been working at a school that I love, doing what I love which is admissions and advising for adults who want to go back to school.
This is something I struggle with every day, but at some point I will need to swallow my pride and know that failure and embarrassment are all parts of life and they are all learning expieriences!
Now, you ask, what are two things I would like to do before I am 60…
Get another Master’s Degree–I love school!
Travel to Italy so I can see where my grandparents came from.
Hope you liked learning about me and my fears, I really put it all out there for you this week!
Happy 2009!
XO,
NC
